K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
