My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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