Ambien. No doubt about it.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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