I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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