What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Randomize
