Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
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Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
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Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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