we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
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