ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize
