yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
