I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Randomize
