I think i peed on brittanys purse
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walk of Shame today included voting.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
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