I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
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