I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Randomize
