It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
