i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize