Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
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Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
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I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
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