hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
