Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
