I can tuck mytits in my pants
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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