I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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