you're like a bully in the Christmas story
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Randomize
