Got a toothbrush?
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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