Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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