No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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