Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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