When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
