Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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