well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
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