Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
