The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
