There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
