I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize