yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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