I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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