lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
