Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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