smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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