its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
