Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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