she was so not down for the gang bang
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Randomize
