He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE