Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
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do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
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My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.