A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
