Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Randomize
