People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
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