At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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