I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
When are your genitals available?
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Randomize