i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
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Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
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IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
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