watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
