I never want to see another naked old woman again.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize