Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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