im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Randomize
