Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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