i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
is this the sara with the beer cane?
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
