so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
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