No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
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