lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
