oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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