Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
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