I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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