Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
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