Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
