Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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