Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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